11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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