My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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