my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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