i can't believe i had my finger in that
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
