that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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