WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
