thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
