WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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