he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
