the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize