At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I should be sponsored by Trojan
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
