I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
