I can tuck mytits in my pants
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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