he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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