I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
