3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
