Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
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We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
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We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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