I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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