On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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