they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he was CRYING into my vagina
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
