Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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