He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
4 words: hood of his car
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
