Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i've created a new STD.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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