If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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