i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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