Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
