im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
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Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
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Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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