can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
