her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sorry about my life...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
