Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
