She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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