just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
