Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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