He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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