xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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