Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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