their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
