It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
MIDGETS
????
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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