Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
