Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
