on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
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I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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