You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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