There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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