I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
