hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
