Fine. I'll sleep in my office
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
