and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
