I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
