I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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