I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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