Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Life is so much better after having sex.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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