You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
