I only kidnapped one of them. chill
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
