He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
