Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize