my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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