this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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