loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
