My brain says no but my pants say off.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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