I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
