Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
