do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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