We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I currently don't understand fingers.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
