I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
